How to get indoor an orchids to grow and bloom?

The thing which, apart from Climate Gate, really knocked them sideways was that bitterly cold December 2013.

Louise wouldn't remember it because she was with Chris Huhne in Cancun at the time and kept telling us how warm it was poolside — while it was –15ºC here and 25,000 elderly died because they couldn't afford to heat their homes.

Mind you the previous year had already made them a laughing stock — all those IPCC delegates and world leaders getting stranded in Copenhagen due to snow in December 2012.

As they say Nature can be very cruel.

About the orchids, we have that Green-winged Orchid growing in our field, I sowed them several years ago and they've self-seeded. The secret is total neglect. The grass gets mown once at the end of August and left alone.

Orchids bloom annually in areas of the NW deemed desolate and unloved by Lords and MPs residing in the SE.

The 'ice melt' was caused by hurricane-force winds which broke up and dispersed the sea ice on the 8th August 2012 (note the time of year — the end of summer), so less was recorded at sea.

And do tell us what is Climate change about? The climate changing? We already knew that. It always has.

The facts are that you ecoloonies said that "Children wouldn't know what snow was.

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"When we finally presented it at the shareholders' meeting, everyone in the auditorium stood up and gave it a five-minute ovation. What was incredible to me was that I could see the Mac team in the first few rows. It was as though none of us could believe that we'd actually finished it. Everyone started crying."

- Steve Jobs

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